Unresolved

No matter what time this ends up being posted, it's important for you to know that I started writing at 4:20 AM. That is not to say that I just woke up and started writing. Hardly. No, DH had to get up for work, and I woke up right before his alarm went off.... at 2:15.

I've read through my Google Reader (twice), checked GMail (twice), and read through the very few interesting stories on FoxNews. If I can't sleep after I post this, I will probably read Miss Manners.

Most nights, I sleep better than this. I'm blaming my insomnia on my environment. That is, a twin mattress in the floor of my soon to be ex-rental house. It should have been an ex a week ago; alas, we still do not have a closing date. Our belongings are packed and moved (not into the new house; just moved). Save, of course, the random odds and ends that plague every mover - and anyone who has moved understands this. As my eyes wander around the room, I see a lamp, the printer we needed for whatever reason, the shelves DH didn't take down yet, a cake stand and cookie rack, some paperwork, blah blah blah.

A new year's celebration is about reflecting (backward) and hoping & planning (forward). I'm trying not to judge myself to harshly this morning, but I'm not entirely happy with the progress of 2008. Work-wise, I think that my team has made steady progression toward some goals, but I can't think of any bright, shining moments. Many of my team members have faced setbacks of either a personal or professional nature (we'll call them growing pangs and learning experiences). I wish we could take some time off, mentally, but this is going to be the most difficult quarter yet as we prepare for some major transitions.

Personally-professionally, I'm still not quite where I want to be. I found out right before Christmas that my proposal to speak at a national academic conference has been accepted - more on that later, I'm sure - and it's great to finally highlight my work and the work of my team. And, I think that our topic - library teaching & assessment, generally - shines a light on a best practice that should be adopted by most, if not all, academic libraries. However, this is an academic conference, not a library conference, so it will be at least several more months before I publish and speak on this topic to my own peers outside of my institution.

Boy does this post sound like a downer. I need to quit blogging so early in the morning.

The Oxford English Dictionary lists 2 definitions for Resolution: 1) a state of dissolution or decay; and 2) the process by which a material thing is reduced or separated into its component parts or elements; a result of this. I like both definitions. The first because I feel like many parts of my life are in some form of decay (my body is at the top of the list; even though I am only 28, I have aged my body through, shall we say, over-indulgence). And of course, there are many elements in dissolution: the house, where my career path is heading at my workplace, and so on.

The second definition, however, is more hopeful. To me, it says that a resolution is not an all-encompassing thing. I don't have to solve a crisis or make life-altering decisions or changes, or define unreasonable, unattainable goals. I can reduce a challenge into its element - it's "raw material". I like this approach. It's fresh, and it lightens what would normally be a tremendous burden that we place on ourselves (at this time of year, at the time of our annual review, after a life-altering experience, etc.).

With no further ado. Resolved:

1. I resolve to take better care of my body. That means taking all of my medicine, eating less and eating better, being less of a davenport tater, and drinking more water and less Pepsi. (I loves me my Pepsi).

2. I resolve to sleep more. Starting in like 10 minutes, I hope.

3. I resolve to call more and e-mail less.

4. I resolve to get help when I need it - at work, at home, and psychologically.

5. I resolve to send birthday and holiday cards on time. Ok, I resolve to send birthday and holiday cards after I buy them.

6. I resolve to not base my organizational, baking, and craft-y worth on the airbrushed, painstakingly designed photos in the likes of Good Housekeeping, Martha Stewart, etc.

7. I resolve to be more friendly to my environment.

8. I resolve not to overdo "it" - potluck is my new word for 2009.


Happy New Year, everyone.